I am a strong proponent for choosing battles wisely--that is, ones that I have the energy for and ones that matter.  Interestingly, what I felt mattered with Franny when she was three years old doesn't necessarily carry over to what I feel matters with Delaney at the same age.

I would never have allowed Franny to wear her dance leotard out and about for errands.  I also would never have let her bring a toy out of the car into the outside world.  And, as I look at this picture of Delaney, taken on our way to pick up Cole from camp, I have to admit I probably would have also insisted on pulling her hair back (since she needs her hair cut) and I'm not sure if I would have let her wear those shoes.  

But, this is Delaney, not Franny.  It's not that I'm necessarily more relaxed with her, I just don't have the same perception of what really matters.  She chooses what she wears and there are very few cases where I will override her.  And yes, we do get some looks from time to time.  But again, that's not something that I think matters, anymore.  And, she may lose her horse or accidentally leave it behind, and if she did that's okay--it would be a great learning opportunity for her.  As for the hair, I don't even try, as I can't possibly win that one.  

I know limits and structure are important to kids, and my kids have plenty of appropriate ones.  But, fortunately I am a little wiser, as well.  Lucky Delaney!