There are a lot of very sweet and generous sides to Franny.  She definitely enjoys giving gifts and cards and drawing pictures for loved ones.  She has been making thank you cards for her Christmas gifts for a few weeks now.  The process is slow only because of she has so few opportunities to work on them on any given day. She'll also work on them and forget she did them, until I find them while cleaning her room.  But, the thought is still there and they will go out soon—and, she is already starting to plan on her valentines!  Next weekend we are visiting friends who also have a little girl Franny’s age.  When Franny learned that we had missed her birthday, she insisted on making her a card, selecting the perfect gift and gift wrap, and wrapping it herself.  The whole process has taken her several weeks, but she has been very persistent about it all and her interest has never wavered—each step of the process has been completely initiated by her.  Franny was so pleased when it was all complete; now, she can’t wait to give it to her friend.  Now, I can’t wait, too! 

We are a family of ice cream lovers.  Everyone has their own favorite; even Cole has moved up from just cones to Rocky Road.  And now, Delaney has joined our ranks of ice cream connoisseurs.  Prior to Cole, I would never have considered giving a baby ice cream.  His nutritionist, however, actually recommended that we give him ice cream to facilitate weight gain.  It didn’t really have an impact, though—challenging genetics is a losing battle with babies, since they are completely competent to regulate their necessary intake.  Delaney is as lean as Cole was as a baby, but given the experience with Cole, I try not to focus on beefing her up, but just giving her the opportunities to eat.   She already does have preferences—avocado and mashed up black beans are definite favorites.  But, ever since he first taste, ice cream has trumped them all.  And, she is so lean, hopefully the fat and calories will benefit her.  Don’t let the grimace fool you—she ate nearly the entire cone!

Periodically, I like to have pictures taken of the kids.  A few weeks ago, we took in all the kids for the first time.  We had a few good pictures of Franny and Cole but Delaney didn’t find the whole process very pleasant, and she was either crying or visibly close to crying in all of her pictures.  Hoping for better luck on another day with a different photographer, I scheduled retakes.  Today was the day.  There is only so much, however, that I can control or prepare for.  Although this is true of even an only child, each additional child inevitably lowers the probability for an ideal experience—there are just too many volatile variables with such young personalities, not to mention physical variables like rest and hunger.  With a seven month old baby, I wasn’t holding out for ideal, but I was really hoping for an adequate portrait of the three kids together.  Well, today wasn’t our day.  We did get great pictures of Franny and Cole, as well as a nice picture of Delaney by herself.  But today, the three of them together just didn’t work out—our sweet, little Delaney just found it all too much to handle.  In this case, the littlest variable was the biggest variable.  We’ll try it again in a few months, when she is a little older and a little more comfortable with new environments and experiences.  I know that won’t make it a given, but hopefully the variable will work in our favor.

A couple of months ago, Franny expressed an interest in taking ballet class at OGA rather than at her school.  After much persistence on her part, we signed her up and she had her first session this week.  It was nice for me to be able to see her dance—her other class didn’t like parents to watch because they felt it was a distraction to the students.  There were only three girls in this new class, but I was impressed with how graceful and poised Franny was.  I always knew she was very athletic, but not only did she have very good form but she moved like a dancer, and not just a little girl doing ballet moves.  I was disappointed in that one of the other students was a big disruption—with only three of them, one can really upset the learning atmosphere.  It made me very proud to watch Franny respond to the teacher throughout it all and do a very good job.  And, it reaffirmed in my mind to always respect Franny’s growing or waning interests.  Although I don’t think she would ever act like this little girl, her time is valuable, and she knows best what is the most fun for her.  I was wondering if after this session she would want to go back to her school class, but she stayed by her decision to start something new.  She is such a wonderful little girl—and a wonderful little ballerina, too!  

When I heard that the kids’ playgroup would be at the Ceramicafe, my first thought was what fun!!  My second thought was ugh—how are we going to make that work?  I knew that Franny would enjoy it, but I wasn’t sure about Cole and I couldn’t help but picture him standing among broken shards of various ceramic pieces while I tried to handle Delaney, as well.  But, as in most cases where I have anticipatory stress, it all worked out fine and I’m so glad we tried it out.  Both kids had fun decorating plates with their choice of colors and technique.  Franny chose lots of different colors, used a Q-tip to make polka dots, and a butterfly stamp to finish it off.  Cole chose fewer colors and used just a paintbrush on his.  I love seeing what they create when given the freedom to do whatever they want.  I think both Franny and Cole will like using these plates once we pick them up.   

Delaney is only seven months, but she is very in tune with her surroundings, and especially those that involve Franny and Cole.  Franny uses this Elmo cup every morning for her orange juice.  Cole is not this particular, but will frequently use a similar cup with a different character.  I have a smaller cup that I usually give to Delaney with a little water in it.  She doesn’t drink much, but she likes to have it.  Despite this, every morning she tries to grab Franny’s cup, which isn’t surprising—I am sure she is intrigued with the colors and pictures on it.  Although I really don’t think she can drink from this cup, this morning I gave her one just to appease her curiosity.  She was so pleased!  She chattered, giggled, inspected it intently, and held onto it very tightly.  A mere seven months and she already wants to be just like them.  Silly girl.

Getting from place to place with three children under five can be a significant challenge.  Most days, Cole and Franny are very good at walking close, holding hands, and looking for cars.  Other days, they will run in a parking lot, get to far from me, refuse to hold hands, or do some other random act that can compromise their safety. Since I have only two hands, there are times when I have felt extremely vulnerable with my ability to assure the kids’ safety.  Unfortunately, the margin of error is small and with little kids the variables are always changing; as a result, my strategies are always changing, as well. On the frequent occasions when Cole or Franny don’t want to hold hands, one thing that has worked well is for me to hold one hand and have the other hold onto Delaney’s carseat.  We’ve recently started to use the stroller, so I use this same approach with it.  Today, after a fun playgroup, when I told them to hold hands or hold onto the stroller, they each chose to hold Delaney’s hand to cross the parking lot.  I love moments like these—completely random, sweet exchanges that they come up with entirely on their own.  I had a very good day, but I think this was the highlight of it.

Franny attended her kindergarten round-up this afternoon. Although she has been very excited all week, she was also understandably apprehensive when the moment arrived. It was a short event—the kids spent about 40 minutes drawing, reading, and having a snack, while the parents filled out paperwork. Then, there was a short tour of the school. It is hard for me to really visualize Franny attending school, here. It’s just so big. At her preschool, everything is small and feels so safe. The program director greets all of us as we come through the door and there is a warmth and sense of care present. I know she will be going to a quality school that will nurture her academically and provide a fun and positive learning environment. But, it is overwhelming. Ironically, when we arrived she was scared and I was confident; when we left, I was the one that was scared while she was confident. Once September arrives, I am sure we will both be ready. It is her beginning of formal education, and it will impact in life in tremendous ways. What an incredible adventure it is going to be!

The Kindergarten classroom Her art project

The library The playground

Delaney is on the move.  She is not crawling in the traditional sense, but she has no problem moving across the room when she wants to.  She rolls, stretches, scoots, and pulls her way from place to place.  Sometimes she is reminiscent of an inch worm the way she moves along.  It’s really quite comical.  At this age, Franny had mastered her infamous army crawl; Cole, however, wasn’t quite this mobile, yet.  I do not doubt that she will have crawling coordinated sooner rather than later—it’s quite obvious that she can’t wait until she can start chasing after Franny and Cole.  I am not sure, though, if I am prepared to chase after all three of them…

Now, I understand what kept Cole up for two hours after bedtime (besides his new bed, that is).

In a rather spontaneous purchase yesterday, we bought a new bed for Cole.  Of course it had to be a bunk bed (like Franny’s) but it also has a trundle, which makes it special for him. Today, however, was the big day! He picked out his bedding this afternoon and Grandma and Grandpa came over to help set it up.  Being the monkey that he is, he does have to wait awhile for his top bunk, but that didn’t seem to bother him—he has his big boy bed and that is exciting enough!  Right now, it is over an hour past bedtime and he is still awake; I am so happy that he is so excited about it all.  Frequently, Cole internalizes a lot, so we don’t always get a clear perspective of how he feels about things.  When he didn’t say anything when we didn’t set it up last night, it almost seemed that he didn’t understand that we had even bought it for him.  But this morning, he knew that it was in the garage and that it was his.  It was obvious he was very pleased. Our family has undergone enormous changes this year, and Franny has had a lot of big things happen for her, as well.  Through it all, Cole has adjusted tremendously.  He’s such a special little boy—it was wonderful that he finally had a moment of his own!

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I do realize that it is a futile task to try to get a perfect picture of Franny, Cole, and Delaney together, but I do keep trying.  Although I never achieve the portrait quality I attempt, I think my pictures do capture their personalities, and quite frequently an amusing moment or two.  Here are a few from my latest attempt.

When Franny comes around, Delaney just lights up.  She smiles and laughs and her eyes fixate on Franny and whatever she is doing.  And, Franny loves to shower her with attention, as well.  Whenever I think Franny is being too loud or too rough and tumble, it is guaranteed that it is then that Delaney is laughing the loudest.  She just isn’t the fragile little baby that she used to be.  This transition is bittersweet.  Delaney’s development is exploding right now, which is very exciting, but the newborn stage was just so precious and sweet.  It’s hard to imagine her being as big as Cole or Franny, but I know it’s coming.  And, it will be here sooner than I think.

There are so many sides to Franny.  Depending on the circumstances, she can be incredibly shy or display tremendous confidence.  Playgroup is where her confidence is most apparent, which is understandable since these are the kids she has known the longest.  And, they have all been through adjustments and growing pains that have created interesting dynamics over the last few years.  There are definitely specific kids that she looks forward to seeing, but I think she has the best times when they are all playing together.  And now that we have Delaney with us, Franny understands that it is her job to look after Cole.  I am always very impressed with how well she does this.  When I see her confidence in these situations and then also see her painfully shy in others, it is hard to predict how she will be in the future. She is definitely not easily defined. And that is typical Franny—she always keeps me guessing.

This picture cracks me up—it looks almost like Cole is mimicking her.  Whether it was for humor or little brother adoration, I’m really not certain…

Franny bowling from T on Vimeo.

Cole bowling from T on Vimeo.

And the big scores--Franny is 'F' and Cole is 'C'. Not that they really pay any attention to the concept of competition. To them, it's just good fun!

Days without Franny take on an entirely different dynamic.  Things are quieter and simpler.  There is no chasing, rough housing, yelling, or sibling conflicts.  And, this is not reflective of a character flaw on Franny’s behalf, these are just the kind of things that happen when four and two year olds get together.  Babies slow things down and there is just more calm.  Of the three days that Franny is at school, we have only one commitment.  Outside of that, our time is wonderfully undefined and just our own.  As much as Cole adores Franny, I think he really enjoys this time without her.  This week, we went to the open session at My Masterpiece Studio and just spent some time painting.  No class, no commitment, no having to be anywhere at a set time—just taking our time and having some fun.  But, he is very aware that this time is for him.  He is so often tagging along on whatever is on Franny’s schedule, and although he has fun, he does understand that it is more about Franny than him.  It is surprising how much he understands.  On our days without Franny, not only is it important time for him, but it is also important time for Cole and Delaney to spend together and build on their relationship.  Having three children is complicated in very surprising ways.  In some ways, the transition from two to three was not as difficult as one to two, but there are so many more things—mostly regarding relationships—to consider and be aware of.  Sometimes it is overwhelming.  That is probably why I cherish these mornings.  And, I do.  I really, really do.

Although I accept the naps are pretty much over for Cole and Franny, I do have them take some quiet time alone in their rooms each day.  With Franny, this was an easy transition.  She always stayed in her room and spent her time without complaint—and, she still does.  Cole, however, is a much different story.  Most often he goes into Franny’s room, but he has wandered into Delaney’s room a couple of times; earlier this week he even headed downstairs to the playroom.  While I firmly believe that this is a very important time for them to rest and decompress, it is also important for me and for the same reasons.  To be continually regulating Cole and keeping him quiet since Delaney is napping during this time, is tedious, frustrating, and more exhausting then just having them up and playing downstairs.  This week, I finally hit my limit and realized that something had to change if we were ever going to return to the proper order of things, which I really need.  After corralling Cole back to his room a half a dozen times, I put a towel over his door and pulled it shut so he couldn’t open it.  I’ve done this for short periods before, but he screams so loud that I always open it back up so that he doesn’t wake up Delaney.  Although it is probably selfish, today I was willing to sacrifice her sleep to establish the limit and get some peace, even if it was accompanied by wails and door banging.  Fortunately, while all that did transpire, Delaney did not wake up.  And after 15 minutes, all was quiet.  The poor kid had crashed on the floor of his room.  He slept for nearly one wonderful hour.  And when he woke up, his door was open.

Sweet Miss D is now seven months.  I understand that all babies develop a different paces, but for Franny, Cole, and now Delaney, seven months has been much more of a breakout point than six months.  Now, there is so much laughing, giggling, and varying chatter; solid food is starting to be actually consumed; scooting and rolling has become a method of mobility; and sleep….well, sleep is about the same, but that will come in time.  Since she joined our family, six to seven months has really marked the most significant change in her personality and just her general presence.  She is a wonderful little girl and we just adore her!

As I continue to blog more frequently, I am becoming much more pleased with Trio and what it represents.  Gradually, I am starting to see a more cohesive picture of both the relationships between Franny, Cole, and Delaney, as well as each of them individually.  More of the blogs depict the small things, which is something that I like.  It is the small things that are so easily forgotten, even when I think at the time that it would be impossible to do so.  Even with Franny, I never kept a baby book, although I did write down milestones on a calendar. After she turned a year old I started her blog, and Cole’s began after his birth.  And although I was able to spend more time on Franny’s blog before Cole was born, neither really tells their story the way I feel Trio does.  I’m looking forward to continuing this process and seeing where it goes.  Eventually I will publish all the blogs.  This one will be volumes, and expensive, but it will be so worth it.

Franny and Delaney today

Over the last few weeks, Cole has taken an increasing interest in dressing himself and choosing his own clothes.  Today, he chose his entire ensemble, and was quite emphatic about also wearing the suspenders and his badge.  Then, he topped it off with a jacket that is probably a size too small with the bulk of his sweater.  I've been through all this before with Franny, but it has it’s own sweet twist with Cole.  In the afternoon, he changed into shorts and his Raccoon Lodge T-shirt, and ran around me yelling Mama look! I’m wearing shorts!  There’s a monkey on my shorts!  And, of course, I couldn’t help thinking that there was a monkey in the shorts, as well!

This last week, Delaney has had a lot of new things to say to us. It's difficult to capture the best moment on video, but this isn't bad...

Delaney's new chatter from T on Vimeo.

There is something about this picture that I just find comical.  It was just one of a series of the kids playing together.  Looking at it now, it appears as though Franny is authoritatively explaining something to the very captive audience of Delaney and Cole.  Whether or not that is the case here, it is definitely something that occurs on a regular basis at our house. More or less, she has been the first to experience a lot of things, and she likes to pass on her “expertise” to Cole. Delaney is definitely fascinated by her older sister, but of course isn’t subjected to this, yet.   Also quite comical, however, is that Cole will frequently listen, but will also sometimes not, which can be extremely irritating to Franny.  She is such a great big sister—she can be supportive, nurturing, and attentive.  But, she also likes to be in control.  Whether it is what, when, or how they play, Franny has a definite idea of how things should be done.  It will be interesting to see how these sibling dynamics evolve over time, including how Delaney will respond to her sister’s guidance.  As I watch them struggle to sort through their differences I can’t help but wonder how they will change and mature and what their relationships will be like in the future.  Of course, I hope they are very close and have very positive relationships, but ultimately it is up to them to define what the Trio will become.

With her afternoon nap abruptly interrupted by her siblings, Delaney was not her usual charming self for the remainder of the day.  She was, however, all smiles for Rick. It helps that her daddy is one of the sillier sort!

Since I started the Trio blog, I’ve been quite forthcoming that we definitely have good and bad days.  Managing a family of three children under five years is a continuous balancing act and test of patience.  These terms sound very cliché, but there is nothing else that so accurately conveys my state of mind on an ongoing basis. Determining what trade-offs are going to be made every day is my biggest challenge and one that frequently leaves me unsettled.  I stand by my decisions but my personal confidence in those choices is not always steadfast.  At the end of each day, I am learning not to dwell on what mistakes I may have made, but to learn, move forward, and start the next day wiser.  I’m not interested in surviving each day.  I want to create an environment for my children that encompasses fun, love, respect, empathy, and the importance of family.  I’m interested in living each day.  With this in mind, I think we have fewer and fewer bad days.  And, if we do, then we regroup and go to bed focusing on the positives.  The next day is a clean slate.

Franny’s photography skills get better every day.  I really like this one…

Franny’s school program has always include a day for a Mandarin class. From the very beginning Franny has always loved it. Her ‘special message’ (something that she particularly enjoyed) on her daily summary is frequently Mandarin, and she was very disappointed this past summer when they discontinued it in lieu of the summer camp themes. When she was in the three year old class, Mrs. Zhao stopped me in the parking lot to tell me what a great student Franny was. At the time, Franny was much shyer in class, so I was surprised that she had taken to it so enthusiastically. Needless to say, this winter, when they started an afterschool Mandarin program, Franny was very interested. It’s an hour long class that includes speaking, writing, and singing and dancing. One day when we went to pick her up they were singing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes in Mandarin. It was very cute. Mrs. Zhao says that Franny is extremely active in class (I assume this means she likes to participate) and has very good pronunciation. She is always very excited when I pick her up and chatters in Mandarin on the way home, which is much different from her regular school days when she has very little to say about her day. As a strong supporter of learning languages and studying different cultures, I am so thrilled that Franny has such a strong interest in Mandarin, and I hope she will choose to continue to learn as long as she has the opportunity.

This morning, Delaney enjoyed being able to eat a snack of toast with Cole.  What seems like just overnight, Delaney has become extremely enthusiastic about eating.  Her eyes get big, her voice gets louder—she has sounds that I think she uses just for food—and she reaches for absolutely everything.  Her dismissive attitude toward cereal is gone; now, it is her new favorite food.  She had two big bowls of today and probably would have eaten more.  Avocado and banana has also been added to her quickly expanding diet.  I am trying to not be too aggressive, but the ten day rule just is not working for Miss D.  Now that she has a few options to follow up her cereal, I am hoping she will be satisfied to slow down a bit.  But, it’s hard to say ‘no’ to that sweet little face!

Since Christmas, Cole has become very interested in many of Franny’s books, and more than any of the others, the Fancy Nancy series tops the list.  I am certain that a large part of his initial interest is that they are Franny’s.  Prior to Fancy Nancy, Ladybug Girl was his favorite and he still keeps this one in his room.  And, these are great books—the stories, illustrations, and themes are ideal for little kids.  I am partial to Ladybug Girl—I think it’s a great story with great messages for kids, and I was sad that it was put on the back burner after the new Christmas books became the priority reading.  Today, after Franny went to school, Cole crawled up next to me on the couch with The Essential Princess Guide.  Now, this book is way over his head, but he requests it frequently and he likes to point out who the different princesses are, although his knowledge seems to dissipate when we get to the princesses that Franny has yet to show an interest in.  And although I am less impressed with the princess series, I do think that reading Franny’s books is a really good thing.  When things get quiet and I go looking for where the ‘quiet’ is coming from, most frequently they are reading together, and these are the books they usually have.  Maybe, that is why he loves them so much.  It is definitely another of the reasons why I love them so much!

This week, we saw yet another “first” for Delaney.  Sometime during the last couple of days, Delaney’s broke her first tooth through those sweet, pink gums.  I haven’t noticed any difference in temperament or sleep patterns, so I am hoping that she is like her siblings and goes through teething with ease and minimal angst.  I’m going to enjoy that toothless smile while I can—it seems that teeth are the beginning of the end of the incredibly precious baby phase, which goes much too quickly.  Fortunately I still have some time left!