This weekend, Delaney and I took a trip to the Bay Area to introduce her to my very dear college friends. It was a trip that seemed long and not long enough at the same time.  Long in that our family was fragmented and it was hard to be away from home, but not long enough because they are such special friends and we see them so infrequently.  We had a wonderful time but are very happy to be home.  Once we were all reunited, Delaney had huge smiles for Franny, Cole, and her daddy; she was also quite obviously thrilled to be home and back where life was familiar and comfortable.   There is no question that it is fun to go places and visit special friends, but nothing compares to home.

Franny met her first real friend connection with a little boy in her playgroup. They were very sweet together and while they both played with everyone, there was definitely something special between them. They have since gone their separate ways, but that first friendship is one that is important and will always be remembered.

Now, it appears that it is finally Cole’s turn. It has been clear that he has loved sweet G since way back last summer—he would get all giddy whenever he saw her, follow her around, and then, chatter her name for days following playgroup. And, I do think she liked him too, but maybe they were a little too young to become real friends, especially with Cole being five months older than G to begin with. But, they are definitely friends now. Today, after bowling these two were inseparable as they played together in the arcade area. They giggled and had little conversations. I tried to sneak up on them to record them on video, but they clammed up every time they saw me. I know I am oversensitive when it comes to Cole and his feelings. He is so sweet and has such a huge heart, I really have to try to not be overprotective of him and allow him to experience everything he can. With that in mind, I can say that I am very happy that G is his first special friendship, and I know they are going to have a lot of fun together.

last summer

today

One thing that has developed along with Franny's homework assignments is Cole's love of using scissors. While she cuts out her pictures, he sits and cuts up magazines and scrap paper. He is getting pretty good, but it's comical to watch him, as he opens and closes his mouth as he cuts. He is such a character--he makes me laugh out loud.

Scissors from T on Vimeo.

Delaney has recently started to enjoy playing with the indoor cars we have.  She’ll sit and bounce to the music; she likes to be pushed around the house; and she even can almost push herself around with her feet (so far she has done it just by accident).  Cole, however, is not really that happy about Delaney riding the cars.  He is surprisingly patient with her, but it’s clear he thinks they are his.  We have established our deep hall closet as his ‘garage’ and he parks them there when he’s not using them.   Today, while I was gathering some things from the pantry, Franny yelled at me that Cole was pulling Delaney into the closet.  Apparently, he had decided that it was time to put the cars away, even with Delaney on one of them.  Little did I know that Franny had taken pictures of the whole incident.  Tonight, when I unloaded the camera I found her incriminating documentation.  Poor Delaney, I can’t even imagine what is in store for her in the upcoming years.

Franny loves to shop and she also loves catalogs.  For several weeks during November and December, there were very few days that the Pottery Barn Kids catalog was no less than scrutinized, followed by endless questions regarding the content.  Although she does seem to be drawn to the high end items that I really can’t justify spending the money on, she can even be engrossed with the Oriental Trading Company for literally days.  Today, she got Cole excited as well, as they covered every page of a birthday party supply catalog over and over and over again.  All their favorites were there, and were lots of squeals and yells and discussions about who would have what for their upcoming birthdays.  Fortunately, this one isn’t going to force the tedious conversation regarding money and why we just don’t buy everything we see that we want.  I still haven’t recovered from that with the PBK catalog.  And also fortunately, I managed to sneak the new American Girl catalog into the recycling before she caught eye of it.  Although I am sure something else will come soon that will just as exciting for this little shopper. 

With all the kids, there are certain times when there is a shift—with either a perspective, a routine, or a general feeling—for the better.  It’s like a step forward, a moment where there is a conscious acknowledgement of leaving behind the way things were and moving into a new phase.  Recently, I have felt more ‘settled in’ as a mother of three young children.  I have felt much more capable of going out with all three of them and being confident that I can keep them safe while getting done what we need to get done.  Part of that is everyone is older and part of it is that they all have adjusted to the addition of Delaney, and the reality that we have to do everything differently.  I have to give Franny and Cole credit—they were able to give up their old routines and learn a new way of doing things—sometimes adjustments became readjustments, as we definitely made our share of mistakes.  There was never a shortage of love or acceptance—Franny and Cole surprised even myself at how completely and sincerely they embraced the arrival of Delaney.  But, that doesn’t help us cross the street or enable everyone to do everything they want or need to do.  Over the last eight months, through much trial and error, we have slowly established a set of systems, a way of handling different situations and environments.  Now, we seem to have finally hit our stride.  I feel we can do just about everything we used to do.  Although, now we don’t just do anything.  There has to be preparation and a plan, or everything will fall apart.  Hoping for the best will always bring on the worst—there are too many personalities, needs, and variables that come into play.   But together, we have learned a lot and have come a long way.  And for now, things are good.  Very good.

For a few weeks now, Franny has been using the third-person as she goes through her day. Where are my Tuesday socks? she asked her mom…I am going to the library, she said as she jumped down the hall…Can I have some milk, please, she said as she climbed into her chair…Where is my brother, she yelled as she looked in her sleeping bag… I suppose it isn’t that surprising, considering how much Franny loves to read books, since she really just sounds like the narrative of a book, but it just sounds so strange to hear her say these little phrases.

Delaney hasn’t been the biggest fan of bath time.  She tolerated it, but definitely didn’t think of it as playtime, like Franny and Cole did at her age.  It’s been about two months since we included Delaney in bath time with Franny and Cole.  Not in the same tub, but in the same bathroom at the same time.  I like having them all together and having a family routine, rather than always having Delaney on a separate schedule.  Because of the height of the main tub, she can’t really see them, but she can definitely hear them.  And sometimes, when their splashing gets a little exuberant, she can feel them, or at least their presence, anyway.  I’m not sure if she is picking up on their playtime atmosphere, or she is just becoming more adventurous, but Delaney is starting to really enjoy her bath time.  She splashes, wiggles around, is starting to kick, and definitely likes the bath toys.  Franny and Cole love bath time, and are usually focused mainly on their bath games, but they will periodically pop their heads up to say hi to Delaney.  They’ll also pick out the toys to share with her—tonight, Cole shared both Lightning McQueen and Mater.  Considering the source, I thought that was very sweet.  As Delaney continues to get older, we are more able to establish routines that include all of them.  For a long time, her needs were just too different to be able to do that.  Things like baths and eating together may seem like little things, but when they are able to do them together, the sense of a complete family seems to become more solidified and less fragmented.  It’s a good feeling.

Delaney from T on Vimeo.

Is it excitement over Cole? The "measuring" of the house? The block in her hand? The arrival of our hardwoods? Something else entirely? Only Delaney knows, but how I wish I did, as well!

More dancing from T on Vimeo.

There was a lot of excitement at our house this morning.  Not only did a big truck park in our driveway, but it was full of 700 square feet of Northern Maple that was unloaded into our front hallway. Franny and Cole were enthralled with the whole process, and very pleased when Kenny—our very sweet delivery man—gave each of them their own piece of wood.  Subsequently, the tower of wood was the center of all activity—it was played on and around all day and their interest did not waver even by the time they went to bed.  This project is very exciting for all of us, as it is one that we have wanted to undertake for years and also one that has been delayed numerous times for different reasons.  But, the time has finally arrived and I expect the next two weeks are going to be quite an adventure!

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Today, Cole didn’t run after Franny as much as he usually does. On our trip to the zoo, he stayed relatively close to Delaney and I. He held on to the stroller as we walked along; he would go off on his own and then return to tell Delany what we were looking at. He really is a sweet big brother. Now, if he would just stop running over her in his little car they might really get close. One step at a time.

Sometimes I feel like we tend to do the same things and go to the same places over and over. I felt this today as I drove the kids to join their playgroup at the zoo. But, once we were there, we had such a fun time. With young kids the experience is always new and different. I see Franny, Cole, and now Delaney each having their own experiences and seeing the same things in different ways. Add a beautiful sunny day, and the morning really could not have been better.

Cole and I visited the new Serengeti exhibit before it was entirely completed. Today, he was able to play the drums with his friend G. Such good times. I love days like today.

Serengeti drums from T on Vimeo.

It was such a beautiful day, I wanted to get a picture of the three kids outside.  This, however, was the best I could manage…

And even it had to wait until the airplane was gone from sight.  The challenges of photographing children is endless!

We are a family of outdoor lovers, and will always opt for an outside excursion if given the opportunity. We are just beginning to embark on days that enable us to spend time in the wonderful fresh air.  An enjoyable outing, however, is inevitably dependent on the youngest member of the family.  If Delaney is unhappy and doesn’t want to ride in the stroller, she can definitely put a dark cloud in an otherwise clear blue sky.  So, while the beautiful days are still sporadic, my goal is to get her in “stroller shape” for later days.  She has just recently begun to ride in the stroller, so I have started with small outings and will gradually work up to longer ones to acclimate her to her new mode of transportation.  So far, she is doing very well.  Our walk today lasted about a half an hour and I am sure she could have gone longer.  She enjoyed the ride—chattering, looking around, and giggling at Franny and Cole.  Of course, there are countless other variables that could sour her sweet demeanor, and I do accept that many of these are beyond my control.  But, if her limited experience is any indication, I am confident that Delaney is going to love being outside as much as her siblings.

More than once I have seen people raise their eyebrows or make subtle comments regarding how I approach food and meals for the kids.  Simply put, parents are responsible for the what , when, and where for feeding, children are responsible for the how much and whether of eating.  And amazingly enough, I didn’t make this up—it’s the baseline for Ellyn Satter’s research on nutrition and feeding of infants and children.  Throw in providing a healthy example, and that sums it up.  They can eat all their vegetables or none and they don’t have to eat everything on their plate.  (I do have issues with them taking food and not eating it, but that’s a whole different battle.)  Her research shows that children can regulate themselves, and if given the opportunity to eat an appropriate diet, a healthy child will not starve or overeat and they will eat all the kinds of food they need to thrive. Usually, the off-hand comments are from those who don’t see my children eat regularly and don’t see the big picture of their diet.  And granted, allowing a child to have ice cream after only eating a piece of bread goes against the methodology of how most adults were raised.  But they also didn’t see the oatmeal they had for breakfast or the salad and fruit they requested for lunch.  Franny and Cole eat really well.  It has taken Cole longer to really have consistent eating habits, but my theory on that is that we tried to overfeed him and didn’t provide a balance diet for him when he began his independent eating.  As for the future, I do hope that Ellyn Satter is right, but does appear that Franny and Cole are on the right track.

During Auntie Noelle's visit today, the kids made Valentines cookies. Cole had fun with the sprinkles...

Cookies from T on Vimeo.

For all the classes Franny has taken, we have been fortunate with the positive experiences she has had.  In some cases she had such outstanding teachers and experiences that it was sad to end them.  Until Franny’s ballet class that she just started a few weeks ago, she has never been in a situation that I felt uncomfortable and that I felt she would be better off finding something else.  At the end of her class last week, however, I wanted that to be the end of it.  I did like the teacher, but the other little girls made the experience tedious and frustrating at best.  Regardless of having Delaney already being taken care of by Grandma and the ideal timing of her session, I would only have had Franny continue if she absolutely wanted to be in that class.  Fortunately, she didn’t.  We switched her into another time, and we will see how it goes.  In this class, she is the only student, which I thought would be a deal breaker for her, but she didn’t mind.  She chose that over going to another dance studio.  Her teacher thought she did a good job, and was impressed that she displayed a real interest in actually learning ballet, which she said was uncommon and that girls this age are more interested in playing.  We’ll take it one week at a time, but for right now, this is what Franny wants to do and as long as it is fun for her, we’ll continue with it.

It has been quite some time since Franny and Cole have had one of their morning adventures with Daddy.  Since Delaney was born, the three of them have used Delaney’s morning nap time as a good time for fun appropriate for the older kids.  Some times they use it for taking care of errands, but most frequently it has been time at the Zoo, parks, or some other fun.  But, it has been since before Christmas that they have had a chance to enjoy their excursions, as birthday parties and other commitments that have kept the weekends full.  Today, however, the three had a fun morning at the Childrens Museum.  Franny and Cole were able to see the Clifford exhibit one last time before it moves on, as well as some new areas they hadn’t explored before.  Cole especially enjoyed the Caribbean Drummers concert, which was one of a series that the museum has on Sundays.  With all the Valentines festivities this week, it was nice to have some care-free fun and just enjoy being with each other.  No more big plans—we exchanged our Valentines and had a fun visit with Grandma and Grandpa after dinner.  I don’t think the kids would have wanted it any other way.

For the last several days we have had an annoying fly buzzing around the house.  Once one has been taken care of, another one takes it place.  It has bothered us enough to buy a fly swatter.  Well, make that two fly swatters—one for Franny and one for Cole.  Thankfully, we have been fly free for nearly two days now.  And also thankfully, the novelty has worn off for Franny and Cole and they have returned to their peace-loving demeanors.  While I can’t pinpoint what exactly is wrong with small children hunting flies, there was something that just didn’t seem quite right with it all.  I am giving it one more day and the swatters are going to be conveniently relocated.

Another video of Cole at nine months. It is almost surprising to be able to see the beginnings of his current personality in this small clip. But, it is unquestionably there!

Cole 2 from T on Vimeo.

Yesterday's post of Dancing D reminded me of this video clip of Cole. He was about a month older than Delaney is now, but their moves are very similar. In this video, he gets very excited when Franny runs up. Some things never change!

Cole from T on Vimeo.

Anytime a holiday and parties are incorporated into their regular schedule, it makes for a very busy week for all the kids.  They definitely enjoyed all the Valentines festivities, but they were ready for a down day.  There was no shortage of fun—Franny, Cole, and now even Delaney really like to play at home together.  Now that Delaney is mobile and can choose where she go, it is much more apparent how much she loves her older siblings.  I never tire at seeing the smiles on the faces and hearing them giggle away as they play together.  There is no question that Delaney adores Cole, but there is definitely something special between her and Franny.  I don’t know if it is because she is older and talks to her in funny voices or if it is a sister bond, but it is very fun to watch them together. 

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I wish I had this kind of energy...

Dancing D from T on Vimeo.

It’s been most recently that I’ve noticed Cole really trying to come into his own.  He loves Franny and all of her things, but he has his own interests and things he likes to do.  At the same time, however, there are a number of things that Franny gets to do, mainly through school, where he is welcome to tag-along, but it is really all about Franny.  Her Valentines party yesterday was one of those—he went and had lunch, but it was her party and she came home with the Valentines.  She did share them with him, which was very sweet of her, but it really isn’t the same.  When it came to today’s playgroup party, I tried to get him more involved in getting things ready, but afternoon activities are hard for Cole because he just gets so tired.  I also think that even though playgroup really is for both of them, he thinks it is another of Franny’s things because they do it together.  At the party, he didn’t even look at his bag of cards and treats, even though they were his and Franny was very excited about hers; part of this was his being tired—he was very excited about hosting playgroup and he played hard—but I don’t think that was all of it.  I don’t want to over analyze the mind of the second-born child, but I do know Cole and I think he is struggling to find his place in things.  Fortunately, Valentines cards arrived today in the mail from Grandma and Grandpa.  This he knew was for him and he enjoyed opening and looking at it.  He had also taken a nap, so he was much more settled and able to focus on it.  I love to see his face light up, and I was very happy to end the day this way.

Today was Franny’s school Valentines party.  She was very excited about the party—she wrote out her name on all her Valentines (all 25!), stuffed her gift bags, tied them up, and put stickers on the outside of each.  She also made little cards for her teachers and the school director in the shape of a butterfly, frog, and a monkey.  Although she was rather indifferent about being the one to give them to her teachers, she did want to personally deliver her gift to Amanda, the school director.  This is really a big deal for Franny, who is very shy with her teachers, although they do say her communication with them is improving.  With Amanda, she probably didn’t actually get out the words she probably wanted to say, she did hand it to her herself, with a very sweet smile, and nodded when Amanda asked her if she made it herself.  Most importantly, it was her that initiated the exchange—we usually just leave it in her office.  It was a big step for Franny; shyness is a difficult burden to bear, but she is tackling it in her own way in her own time.  I am so proud of her! 

I want that.

Is mine really the same as yours?

Okay, this is good.

[Second thoughts…]

I want that!

I’m not sure what motivates a two-year-old to drop his favorite toy down the floor vent, but that is exactly what Cole did to his Mater a couple of months ago.  I am a strong believer in logical consequences and using mistakes as learning opportunities, but it was incredibly difficult for me to refrain from replacing Mater as soon as it happened.  But, I didn’t and life went on.  And, Cole never asked for a new Mater although I know that he did miss him.  This week, I had a lot of errands to take care of, and I told Cole that if he was a good listener and big helper for all of these, he could pick out a new car.  When the time came, there was no question what he wanted.  And not any of the variations—just the original—a ‘regular Mater’.  He held on tight to that Mater through the store, checkout, home, to pick up Franny, and back home again.  He now is sleeping with him.  I am so happy the two have been reunited. 

A post for Cole because his beautiful face was unintentionally absent from the post ‘Day 100’.  He just happened to be sleeping when those pictures were taken, and I didn’t take any others today!