More than once I have seen people raise their eyebrows or make subtle comments regarding how I approach food and meals for the kids.  Simply put, parents are responsible for the what , when, and where for feeding, children are responsible for the how much and whether of eating.  And amazingly enough, I didn’t make this up—it’s the baseline for Ellyn Satter’s research on nutrition and feeding of infants and children.  Throw in providing a healthy example, and that sums it up.  They can eat all their vegetables or none and they don’t have to eat everything on their plate.  (I do have issues with them taking food and not eating it, but that’s a whole different battle.)  Her research shows that children can regulate themselves, and if given the opportunity to eat an appropriate diet, a healthy child will not starve or overeat and they will eat all the kinds of food they need to thrive. Usually, the off-hand comments are from those who don’t see my children eat regularly and don’t see the big picture of their diet.  And granted, allowing a child to have ice cream after only eating a piece of bread goes against the methodology of how most adults were raised.  But they also didn’t see the oatmeal they had for breakfast or the salad and fruit they requested for lunch.  Franny and Cole eat really well.  It has taken Cole longer to really have consistent eating habits, but my theory on that is that we tried to overfeed him and didn’t provide a balance diet for him when he began his independent eating.  As for the future, I do hope that Ellyn Satter is right, but does appear that Franny and Cole are on the right track.